I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
