they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
