You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
