I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
being pregnant is like rehab
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
