Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
