This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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