I just made out with a guy for $7.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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