He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize