I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
bring money and cleavage
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
why is half of my head shaved?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
