It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
