He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
