Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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