garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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