I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize