Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
