I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
