Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
