I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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