I wanna bring you to show and tell
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
