apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm passing your future prison.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
