walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
