She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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