you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize