That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
