butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
