I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so let's talk penis.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
