your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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