dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
