So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
