This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
