Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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