pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
