successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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