I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize