Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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