Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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