my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
