Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
