I'm jealous of your bromance
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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