I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
