SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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