it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
