Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
