And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
