You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
