I'm jealous of your bromance
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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