She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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