She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
