i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
