I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
