i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
