I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize