my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
