Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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