found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
