Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
