he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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